Dr. ( Mrs) Nkoyo Attah is the General Manager of Total Nigeria. A pastor and wife who has been married for over 35 years, she spoke with JULIET UMEH on her marriage, work, style and ministry. Excerpts:
Can you give us an insight into your background and how you would love to describe your childhood?
I am from Odukpani local government area of Cross River State. My parents are from Cross River State. We are five – four girls and one boy. The first girl is a Commodore in the Nigerian Navy; she is a medical doctor, a consultant. She is followed by my immediate elder brother who is also a consultant based in South Africa. I am in between them; I work with Total as a general manager. My immediate younger sister is a pharmacist. She is with the United Nations and the youngest is a Chartered Accountant.
Basically, we are from a monogamous home and our parents thought the best legacy to leave for us is education. We all benefited from that legacy. I am married for about 35 years ago. I have three children and they are all doing well. I also have a grandson. Generally, we had a happy childhood and we had everything we wanted by the grace of God because our father was with the federal civil service. He was the Chief Pharmacist at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH). He is late now, he died in 2010. My mother is a graduate teacher. She is still alive and on pension; she was teaching in Lagos State, she is now at home. So, generally, we had a happy home.
What was most important to our parents was to devote our time and energy to educating our children and bringing them up with the fear of God. That is why I am in the mission as a pastor of the Redeemed Christian Church of God now.
What kind of people are your parents?
My parents are wonderful people; they are people who understand the most important need of their children and family as a whole. They were together for about 60 years. In fact, the time my father died, they were together for about 58 years. And my father only had my mother as his wife, he didn’t have another woman elsewhere, he did not have other children from outside, it is exclusively us and that was what he replicated in his Will.
One of the most important things that they felt we needed was to be exposed, so he ensured that we travelled out of Nigeria for vacation. He facilitated the best of education for all of us and that’s why God has made us who we are today. It was only by the grace of God. My mother was a devoted woman. In fact, there was little she didn’t know how to do, she was an all rounder she tried to inculcate that spirit of discipline in her children. It is indeed amazing to have such wonderful parents. We are always praying that we can pass the same values down the line.
Is there any particular thing you learnt from your parents that is working for you as a woman?
A lot. Like I said, I learnt of the importance of being devoted to one another. We have been made to know that marriage is not something that is made from heaven, that the two parties have to work for it. We were taught of the essence of tolerance, patience and love in making a marriage work. When you love each other, you would hardly do with each other. This was diser in love to keep our marriage intact.
How would you describe your experience as a pastor?
Pastoral work is very enjoyable because it helps you to impact on a lot of lives. I have been in the ministry seriously since Year 2000 when I was ordained initially as a deaconess. Now, I’m in the full pastor cadre in the Redeemed Christian Church of God and I have always been a field worker. As a field worker, one is thrown into a field of different situations of real life issues and challenges which demand a regular display of God’s power. It demands a lot of resources and energy. It demands a lot of compassion and commitment.
For you to be able to do God’s work effectively, there’s a price to pay. Just as a price is required to be promoted in whatever one is involved in, in ministry, we must also pay a price to be spiritually promoted. Failure to do this will definitely end up in stagnancy. For us field ministers, there are lots of prices to pay. The Bible says that the harvest is ripe but the labourers are few. We are expected to reach out to as many as possible.
As Jesus Christ came, he came to seek and save the lost. We also need to reach out to others. We are concerned about people’s welfare and their needs. We are concerned about areas that physically we can reach out. When you reach out to somebody physically it is easier to reach out to him spiritually. And this we pick from the Bible, because when somebody is hungry and you are preaching the word of God to him, you will just be wasting your time as a hungry man is always an angry man. As a field worker, we need to fill in this gap as much as we can. Besides, the ministry demands a lot of patience and compassion and God is helping us in this wise.
How do you combine this with your regular job?
I am able to strike a balance between the two with the grace of the Almighty God. It is by it that things are made easier for me. Before, when I was not completely depending on Him, thinking I could do it by my power, I kept struggling and I was having issues in the office, at home and all that. But when l said God, you are the one that has called me, I didn’t call myself, you need to give me the grace to be able to manage this whole situation, it became very easy. Since God brings help in times of trouble and challenges, it becomes very easy to balance. Besides, when you have a passion for the things of God, God always make a way for you in your circular job as well.
How did you meet your husband and what was the attraction?
God helped me to get a scholarship and when the scholarship was to be paid, it was our Cross River State scholarship at that time… When you do well, they will issue a scholarship. And my husband was the one in charge of the scholarship. So he seemed to be impressed. I was a young girl at that time, I just graduated at that time; I graduated at between the ages 19 and 20. So, he was looking at my result and was looking at me. He said you are very intelligent and that was what he admired first. So, he was doing all his best to help me to see that I got my benefit and my entitlements in the scholarships and the rest of them. From then on, he wanted to get to know how I was faring. He was a nice looking young man and he was somebody that feared God. One of the things that I had to look out for because I came from a Christian home was somebody that fears God. My parents had impressed this on us all that marriage is a life time business. I wanted to enter into a marriage that I will be in for the rest of my life.
My father’s death is what parted their union and my mother is a very old woman now. I am sure she misses him on a daily basis. They lived together for close to sixty years, mine is just thirty something years and by the grace of God we will live to see that time. For me, my husband’s fear of God really was topmost attraction to me. With the fear of God in him, I was sure he would have wisdom for the challenges ahead and this has indeed worked for us. The Bible says the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. If couples would put their marriage together in the wisdom of God, they would discover that God would ensure the presence of selfcontrol, patience, peace, love and they will excel in those areas where others usually have problems. For instance, you will discover that it takes two people to quarrel. If you decide to quarrel with me and I decide not to quarrel with you, we will end up not quarrelling. But if you decide to quarrel and I respond, that’s when there will be fracas. God has helped us. It has not been easy but it is something that we had to work on each other. We became more like brother and sister and our children are seeing it and they are realising that the values of marriage must be upheld.
What are other secrets behind your successful marriage?
Love is one. If you don’t love somebody, don’t go into a relationship with him. Love goes beyond the physical. It is beyond this person is beautiful or handsome. There is a difference between love and lust. If you sincerely love each other then you will wish for each other what you would to ordinarily wish yourself. Because we love each other, we care for each beyond the physical and the fact that we fear God makes us to put Jesus at the center of our marriage.
We pray together, we share with one another. We think about each other in a manner that we think about ourselves. Love overcomes a lot of things. It helps you not to see faults of other people. When you love one another, you communicate more with each other and with that you discover that areas of frictions are minimised. It is when you love somebody that you always want to talk and share all with that person.
What is style to you as a minister of God?
Style, to me, is a way of demonstrating the glory of God for any child of God. It does not have to be weird; it does not have to be outrageous. Look at me. Don’t I look good? I believe in the spirit of excellence in whatever I do. I have to look excellent for me to be able to convey a message to the people of God around. The Bible instructs us to be moderate in everything that we do and we should do things to the glory of God. Style is about seeking to please and impress God in our appearance at all times and at all cost. For me, I must portray the glory of God upon my life in whatever I wear and do.
Source; National Mirror
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